(#1 is supremely important)

Imagine you are sitting in your living room with your family, watching a light hearted Netflix comedy series, and ruminating on all things positive in your life. Positive vibes only. A good day cannot get any better. But wait, suddenly you see a huge cloud of shit building around your house. You witness it but before you can do something, it pounces into your living room through all the open windows and doors. The landscape changes immediately and it is just shit and only shit everywhere — on your couch, on your Netflix, on your table (eww!). The shit hits the fan, and we all know what happens next. Every corner of our lives is covered in shit, and it includes we — the people, sitting in the living room. Remember, when it rains, it pours.

Were we not talking about a good day and positive vibes only, just a moment ago?

With all the things that we go through in our lives, there is just so much shit happening anywhere and everywhere. The metaphor aside, there are just way too many problems around us — not every problem is created by us, but most of them impact us. Sharing a few examples of shit from across the globe:

— Russo-Ukrainian War where two nations are fighting
 — Yemeni Civil War where people within a nation are fighting
 — Human rights violation across the globe
— The looming fear of a global recession
 — The absolutely horrendous school shootings which tremble me every time I hear about it

And all this is happening when the world has still not put behind the tremors of Covid-19.

Whatever we may do, how meticulously we may plan — crisis will come in our lives somehow, and at that point — the best laid plans of mice and men will go awry. It is important for us to develop the art of crisis management. Every individual will deal with it in its own way, but there are a few points I have observed in people dealing with crisis effectively.

I. Wear a raincoat and cover yourself FIRST from raining shit.

Remember, during the safety briefing when boarding a flight, the air hostesses always remind — “Wear your own safety mask first before helping others.”

The first principle of any crisis management is to prevent further harm to ourselves. Sometimes the corrective actions can wait until the shit has stopped raining, but some scenarios demand immediate action. But in either case, before we step into resolving it, we must safeguard ourselves.

Think of it as this way — there is a fire and you are the part of fire mitigation and rescue team. Before, we enter into resolving the crisis, we must make sure we safeguard ourselves.

II. Do not blame anyone until the crisis is mitigated.

Speaking specifically from a corporate experience, but I believe this is equally applicable when dealing with any type of crisis. It is important to identify the root cause behind the crisis — but it can wait. We all need as much support as we can gather when dealing with a crisis. And, if start finger-pointing in the midst of it, it does not help but reduces the morale of the entire team.

Personally, when working with a team, I do not do any sort of crisis-postmortem, until the issue is resolved.

“Every little thing counts in a crisis.” — Jawaharlal Nehru

III. Calm yourself down and maintain your positivity while cleaning shit.

Remember, shit rain is real and often sudden. What makes it worse is that we often have to clean other people shit (Ouch! — been there done that!). We cannot do any of that if we are constantly thinking of ways to get out of it, or continuously blaming people for it. If we are in it, we must do it whole heartedly. I always believe, that we have seen so many troubles — but there is none that has lasted for long. Hence, this too shall pass.

“Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own. — Charles de Gaulle”

One thing I have very firmly come to believe in (during recent times) — “Personal issues are issues, but corporate issues are shit.” If Elon Musk can fire the Twitter CEO within a day, what makes you think you are important for your company 😧. Any work related issue is not worthy enough that I sacrifice my hard earned peace of mind for it.

Recap to remember:
 — Whatever we may do, crisis will come and shit will rain.
 — The first thing while dealing with crisis is to prevent further harm, and hence all the protective measures must be taken to safeguard ourselves.
 — Do not start finger pointing when in the midst of crisis management. It can wait.
 — And, you will have to clean other people’s shit. Make peace with this.
 — Corporate issues do not deserve sacrificing our peace of mind.

Please share your thoughts about the article, and any specific technique you use during crisis management. 👏are optional, but they sure make us happy.
 — Please read my other Satires and Humorous articles in this list.
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