Tough people teach you the most. Here is a real example!

That one fine day, I literally had my head lying down on the desk with tears inching out of my eyes.

It all began like a slow burning fuse.

At first, his behavior seemed harmless — a boast here, a self-centered anecdote there. However, as time passed, his actions became increasingly infuriating. He interrupted meetings to steer conversations towards himself, took credit for team achievements, and rarely acknowledged the contributions of others.

It felt like every interaction was designed to feed his ego, leaving me and other colleagues frustrated and overlooked.

Before delving into my journey of dealing with this challenging coworker, it’s essential to understand what narcissism entails in the workplace.

There is this one colleague in my office that I happened to work for over a year for a project. And boy, did he suffer from narcissistic syndrome? In layman terms, narcissistic syndrome is essentially how everything is about you — characterized by an excessive need for admiration. They often display a charming facade but are prone to self-centeredness, and a constant need for validation.

That one fine day, I literally had my head lying down on the desk with tears inching out of my eyes. The reason — I had been shouted upon by this senior colleague with little fault of my own. And the worst part is I did nothing to rectify the situation.

Work never poses the most difficult problems in office. People do. I work with lots and lots of machines, and I never find them difficult. Simply because they run by a logic. I wish I could say the same about everyone I worked in the office 😄.

Now within narcissistic people, there are two types — one who only want more recognition and importance for themselves. These are the easier ones to deal with. The second one is that not only do they want lesser recognition for themselves, but they also want lower credit to be given to others.

The person I had to deal with was somewhere between these two categories. Remember that colleague of yours who asks questions in the meeting just for the sake of asking questions 😄?

As long as you keep giving him credit, he will not bother. The moment you deviate, he will cause trouble for you.

I had a lot of trouble dealing with this person. Even the slightest of mistake, he would make a mountain out of it. And for all the good things, he is always in the front row taking credit.

When he shouted at me in front of the entire team, I felt bad to the core. Every team member comforted me, saying that that I had done nothing wrong. When such incidents started to become frequent, I decided I had to do deal with this, and I framed a set of guidelines for myself to resolve this.

I. “Set clear boundaries”

One of the reason my colleague was smart because he never defined clear boundaries. So if there is something good, he is there to take credit. If something is wrong, he goes on the opposite side and shouts.

Hence, I tried to develop clear boundaries with him — a well defined “Split of Responsibility” prior to commencing the work. And make sure it is documented via email. This is very important to avoid any conflict at a later stage.

2. “Hold him accountable”

Make it very clear that if he wants to take credit for the work, he must have a clear deliverable to his name. And if there is a mistake, he is equally accountable for the mistake.

Do not give any free ride.

Surviving the workplace jungle with a narcissistic co-worker is like crafting a masterful dance between assertiveness and self-preservation, where setting boundaries becomes the key to reclaiming sanity in the midst of ego-driven chaos.

3.“Maintain your Zen” — Remind yourself that you are not at fault!
The most difficult part for me was to keep my mind at peace when there was constant judgment passed on me.

I try to remain calm and remind myself —

“I do not want to give the keys to my mental peace to someone else.”

I realized that I have to be stronger than a person who gets depressed when someone says anything negative to me.

4. “Dodge the bullet” — Avoid unnecessary contact

This works 100% of the time.

Avoid unnecessary interactions to provide minimal opportunities for narcissistic behavior. By strategically avoiding situations prone to manipulation, I maintained focus on tasks and minimized frustration.

As we grow up in the organization, understanding the dynamics of different personalities is most important. My experience helped me learn the significance of addressing narcissistic behavior head-on, fostering a workplace culture that values collaboration over individual ego.

Having implemented all these ways of working, I have been able to manage the work delivery as well as our working relationship. As we encounter such challenges, it becomes imperative to equip ourselves with the tools needed to navigate the complexities of workplace relationships successfully.

So, next time you find yourself in an office with drama superstars: set your boundaries, dance to your own rhythm, and navigate that workplace jungle with ease!

You got this 😃!