My conversation with a Buddhist Monk

Often a lot of questions arise within our minds, and we continue to seek answers for them. Sometime I feel that is the sole purpose of our existence i.e. to find answers for all the questions arising within our mind and soul. Some seek guidance of saints and philosophers, some within a book, while the enlightened ones find the answers within themselves.

I am curious to have all the questions, but not enlightened enough to have all the answers.

Maybe my curiosity to seek answers for the right questions is my path to enlightenment — and hence I continue to seek answers both on the inside and on the outside.

There is a small Buddhist monastery near my house. Although I am not a Buddhist, but a firm believer of Buddhist philosophy. I find it to be very peaceful, harmonious and yet very fulfilling. I often visit the monastery as it imbibes me with freshness and a positive energy. Within the monastery, there is one very young monk, or ‘Bhikkhu’ as we call them, whom I adore a lot. I want to call him my friend, but refrain to do so as he is way ahead of me on the path to enlightenment.

Besides the spiritual knowledge he possesses, he also has an amazing ability to convey things in a manner the present day generation understands the most. As I used to visit monastery frequently, my interaction with him increased. I would ask him all the questions arising in my mind, and he would try to answer all of them in a very calm and composed manner.

During one of my interactions with him, I asked him this question —

Master, how can I tame jealousy?

The monk smiled at my question, thereby giving me the required encouragement to proceed.

There are many people in my life, that I am jealous of — particularly a few lucky ones in my office and my inner circle.

How can someone be jealous of our own friends and family members, who have supported me during my darkest times? Surprisingly, I never feel jealous of all the richest people in the world, but only my own close ones.

I know it is wrong — but I just cannot help it.

After I had finished asking the question, the monk was smiling and observing the expression on my face. After a brief moment of silence, he replied —

“Who said you have to tame jealousy? Why can’t you just accept it?”

I was perplexed to hear this response from him, but he continued to explain.

I. Accept your jealousy.

Of all the emotions one can feel, Jealousy is the purest form of emotion.

Imagine if you are trying to be good to someone, there would be a part of you that would restrain you, try to hold you back. The same goes with love, devotion, and selfless service. But when we feel jealous, we do this wholeheartedly. (The monk said this with a restrained smile on his face.)

I have realized that it is never in our control about what comes to our mind. If the emotion is jealousy for someone, so let be it. But there is one thing I always try to do, and that is my prime advice in this regard:

Never say ill of any person you are jealous of. This is one golden rule that will get you through.

Trust me, it is supremely difficult. You will find many like minded people who are equally jealous, and your mind will force you to speak ill and gratify yourself — but you have to restrain yourself. It is tough, but with practice you will be able to do that.

II. Jealousy comes from a sense of longing, and often it is not for the right things.

Have we ever thought of what are the things we feel jealous of — the most expensive car, a luxurious pent house. Mostly, these are things we don’t need but the things we desire. The moment we try to let go of that, our jealousy will vanish. Maybe that is the reason I don’t feel jealous anymore.

Besides, I often see lack of humility as one of the reasons for jealousy.

We feel jealous when we feel that we, human beings, are the ones doing things.

If we start to believe that it is the universe which works in mysterious ways — and has given something to others that we don’t have — we will make peace with our jealous emotions.

III. Don’t let your jealousy go — Just use it for the right things.

I always believe we should harness our jealousy for the right things. Try to be jealous that someone always has a smile on his/her face, and you don’t have. If you think of it in this fashion, you will be a happier person.

When I was trying to deal with this emotion myself, whenever I would feel jealous about someone, I would say, ”May God be with you”.

Trust me this simple trick helps!

All our negative energy towards that person, we have nullified with this very small positive prayer.

We continued our discussion for another hour and the master explained many more strange things about our mind, perception and all things life in general.

As I was about to leave, I asked him, ”Have you ever felt of jealous of someone, may be of someone like me?”

“Do I need to?” He replied immediately with a smiling face. “I have everything you need. You have nothing that I desire. I don’t think we are comparing two equals here.”

And there it was when we both burst into an endless laughter —a young Bhikkhu with no possession but with plenty of wisdom, and a silent monk still trying to find answers for all his questions.

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