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What Happens When Gods Try to Understand What a Social Media Influencer Does😄?

And O boy! how miserably are they failing at this 😄

In an afterlife situation, an Instagram influencer has been summoned before a jury comprised of demigods. They are desperately trying to understand what a social media influencer does.

“This is your afterlife, and we are going to evaluate your deeds on Earth. Based upon this, we shall assign you a place in Heaven or Hell!”

So, tell us, and tell us all — What did you do on Earth?

Standing there, with a mouth that had permanently taken the shape of a pout from the numerous selfies, she spoke the following with unmatched confidence:

You know, guys, I am a social media influencer. I have 10 million followers on Instagram and 5 million on Twitter. I also have a huge growing following on TikTok and Facebook.

All these people follow me and I tell them to do stuff — like commenting on my senseless posts, liking my no-substantial-content videos, and buy all the stuff they are never going to use.

Also, I have a course — “Learn to pout and grow your social media following in 3 days”.

The gods were now totally confused. Firstly, they could not understand what she actually does, and secondly from where all this confidence was coming. So, the gods asked —

All that is correct, but what do you actually do?
And why would someone follow you or buy stuff you recommend? Are you a very renowned scholar?

“No, but my followers are more than all the renowned scholars,” she replied instantly.

Are you a movie star or a sports star, that people love your work and buy stuff that you recommend?

“No”, she replied again.

Are you a renowned author or an expert?

“No, but I know how to take the weirdest selfie and make it look cool! See like this!” She took a pouting face selfie which only annoyed all the jurors. The eldest jury member even whispered — “Why is she feeling so proud on destroying such a pretty face?”

Photo by Gursimrat Ganda on Unsplash — Original image cropped by the author.

There was a total deadlock, and none of the jury members could understand what she does. Then the head juror stood up and said the wisest thing:

This is beyond our capability to understand. We need a wise soul to explain to us what they really do.

Please invite “The Silent Monk” for a short conversation. Only he can get us out of this situation.


And in no time The Silent Monk was invited in front of the most esteemed audience, and shared his expert opinion on one of the most useless things in the world!

Dear gods,

Many thanks for the invitation. I thought you would ask my opinion about something more meaningful, but anyway.

Social media influencers are among the most annoying things in the present-day world. They have an art for doing purposeless, bootless and hopeless things, and in the process gain attention of all the purposeless, bootless and hopeless people in the world.

Usually, it is a 4-step process as follows:
 — Pick the name of a very famous person and explain why you hate him/her. All the people with similar opinion will become your followers.
 — Ask people about how much they hate Donald Trump — Reply in ‘Gifs’ only.
 — Put pictures of cats and dogs and tell everyone how much you love them.
 — Like all the comments and tell everyone how awesome they are for commenting.

As I was explaining, the influencer exclaimed in joy — “Yes this is exactly what I do😃. And the videos of cute smiling babies as well! Those get the highest engagement.”

The jury was still in shock and the eldest jury member whispered again — “I still can’t understand why she is so proud of all of this.

The head juror asked, “Is it a mainstream thing? Any other such useless thing you would like to highlight?”

Dear gods, following unproductive ineffectual people is more mainstream than you think.

Do you know Elon Musk? He is the king of social media influencers — although he says he is an entrepreneur but that is his side business.

And yet again, as I was explaining, the influencer interrupted with joy — “Oh, and he follows me too! We often go in Twitter battles with each other which helps me gain more followers!

The eldest jury member grabbed his hair in frustration and whispered yet again — “Someone please explain to me why does she think we are praising her!”

With this conversation, the jury thanked The Silent Monk and returned him to Earth to write an article about this.


Meanwhile, the jury still cannot decide where she belongs — in Heaven or in Hell!

After a lot of deliberation, the head juror stood up and said the following judgement:

Heaven is for people who have done good deeds, and hell for people who have done bad deeds. In your case, we are still confused because you haven’t done anything with your life.

And if we send you to Hell, what are we going to do with your 10 million Instagram followers. There is not much space in Hell for all of them.

So please go back to Earth and do something meaningful with your life!

The influencer was elated to hear this. As she was about to leave, she asked all the jury members for a groufie (i.e. group selfie). Next day this groufie came to Instagram, and all the jury members had a pouting face with a caption —

“See I even taught the demigods how to pout! Wish to learn?

Join my online course Learn to pout and grow your social media following in 3 days

And about doing something meaningful with her life, she now makes reaction videos on YouTube. No surprise, it is getting a lot of traction. If you have any brain left, please do watch one of her videos and subscribe to the channel.


Witnessing all of this from Heaven, God invited the timekeeper and said the following —

“When is the Judgement Day? I think we might have to prepone the event.”

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