What happens if you are staying alone and experience the worst nightmare?

I had the worst nightmare that someone is standing in the darkest corner of my living room — whether it is a thief or some paranormal creature I could not tell.

It was 3 o’clock in the middle of the night, and I was sleeping in my living room when I had this dream. I immediately woke up, mighty scared and drenched in sweat. I headed straight to the washroom and locked myself in. For full 30 minutes, I was just sitting on the toilet seat doing nothing but trying to calm my heartbeat. I was suddenly too scared to come out into my living room. Within the small washroom, I was more comfortable and may be less scared.

Eventually, I calmed myself, prayed, and said to myself — “This is God’s house. Nothing wrong can happen here.”

Post this prayer, I came out into the living room.

Needless to say, I did not sleep that night. And ever since that day, I sleep with the lights on!

When I was going through that nightmare situation, I was all alone in my apartment. I did not have anyone to talk to or anyone to comfort me. Often in my life, I have found myself in difficult situations all by myself — but this particular incident was the scariest. Having a roommate, and not living alone, would have definitely helped in such a situation.

I am an introvert of the highest order — and have been living alone by choice for almost 5 years. And I enjoy almost every part of it. I believe I am more comfortable in silence than in conversation with other people. I live alone in a 3 BHK apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Of the 3 bedrooms, the smallest room I have converted to a laundry room, the second room I have put a table and computer where I often sit and write my articles, and the third room is always closed and hardly opened. As to where I sleep, I have put a mattress in the large living room and sleep on the floor. Every single day I remind myself to be grateful for the personal space that I have, and that such a sort of lifestyle is a luxury and not everyone can afford it.

Over the years of staying alone, I have realized that it has its own perks and downsides, and there are a few lifestyle changes you have to make to adapt to the same.

I. There is way too much silence in your apartment.

You literally do not hear any other voice in your apartment. Other than your own voice, it is either the fan, or the kitchen mixer, or the laptop.

I remember there was once a long weekend of 4 days, and I did not even get out of my apartment. On the fourth day, I had a pretty shocking realization that I have not heard any other human voice in the past 4 days. That was scary, and I immediately went out for a walk just to see and hear other people on this planet.

And for this reason alone, I hate long weekends — anything more than a 3-day weekend, I have to put in extra effort to plan for it upfront.

II. You do not need to lock the bathroom door, and it does not matter what clothes you wear at home — or if you don’t wear them at all.

Indeed, you do not need to lock your bathroom door, but old habits die hard. I feel uneasy and that someone is watching me if I do not lock the bathroom door, and hence always end up doing so.

With respect to the clothes, yes you can walk around wearing or not wearing anything you want. But, you would yourself feel uncomfortable if you are following the latter category (at least I do). Hence, even when I am at home, I am always dressed properly and in my most comfortable clothes.

Besides, remember there are windows in your house 😃!

III. You find a lot of time for yourself, and can use it to indulge in new hobbies.

Even after you cook your own food, do your laundry, occasionally clean the house — you would still find a lot of time for yourself. Maybe because we are not indulging in activities such as talking to others.

And this is actually a very good thing because you can indulge in your hobbies, learn a new skill set, spend more time in silence with your own self!

The fact that I am able to spend time on my writing is a direct outcome of me staying alone.

IV. You have subscription for every OTT platform.

Well this could be just me, but you could really end up taking subscriptions for every OTT platform out there — Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime. Although this is becoming more of a norm these days, but this becomes slightly more prominent if you are staying alone.

Although nothing can replace the company of human beings, we can keep ourselves engaged with such OTT platform.

And if you are a book lover, you would end up with lots and lots of books as well.
The books surely are a much better company than the OTT platforms.

V. You get really scared of emergencies.

The nightmare that I shared is one such situation where you get really scared. But this is not the worst of emergency situations. I have a sleep disorder where I cannot sleep properly at night. I wake up every now and then. And I am too scared to take any sleeping pill — what if there is an emergency in the night and I just don’t get up?

Or if you are in the middle of the night and have heart pain!

When I think of such situations, I get really scared. Hence, I keep necessary precautions such as emergency contact of nearby friends, the security manager of my apartment complex, nearby hospitals and ambulances!

While I love almost everything so dearly about staying alone, this one particular thing makes me scared every time I think of it.

In the end, I believe staying alone or with your friends/roommates — it all comes down to your personal preference. But if you are an extrovert of the highest order, don’t even think about staying alone. The silence will get onto you.

Personally, I have gotten accustomed to it now, and enjoy the personal space that I have 😊. I have realized that you can be amidst hundred friends and still be lonely, whereas you can be all by yourself and yet at peace! It all comes down to what suits us the most 😃.

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