“Sparkling Water with Lemon and Ice please!”

Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong to Beijing, March 2017

In March 2017, I found myself on a Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong to Beijing, a journey that would offer me a glimpse into a world I had only ever dreamt of — the world of business class flights. Little did I know that this experience would become a reflection of my journey from humble beginnings to the lap of luxury.

As I stood in the business class boarding queue, I couldn’t help but feel like an imposter. My shoes, literally worn and torn from the adventures of life, drew a curious look from an airline official.

The airline official, while looking at my torn shoe, asked with a warm smile — “Good morning Sir, May I check your ticket please?”

Handing her my ticket, I braced myself for judgment, fully aware that my appearance didn’t scream “business class traveler.” To my surprise, when she found my business class ticket, she maintained her professionalism and wished me a pleasant flight. She probably noted (correctly) that I was on a business trip, and that by no means I could have afforded this ticket on my own.

That day I learned that to travel in business class, you don’t just need a ticket. You also need to exuberate that you own the ticket.

To be honest, you cannot blame others for doubting you when you are doubting yourself. Even I did not feel like I belonged to business class, and my nervous demeanor continued to linger.

Entering my seat (and the world of riches), I felt like a timid observer, overwhelmed by the opulence surrounding me. A beautiful air hostess greeted me with a radiant smile, inquiring about my choice of a welcome drink. And, all I could utter was a feeble “Nothing,” a testament to my anxiety.

At that moment, I thought, “I would have been more comfortable in economy class.”

I felt like a scared animal, huddled in a corner, shrinking from the extravagant world unfolding around me. Luxury watches, designer handbags, and exquisite perfumes adorned my fellow passengers, painting a vivid contrast to my humble existence. In this realm, I was Alice in Wonderland, captivated yet out of place.

When a rich guy sits next to me!

Fate, it seemed, had a sense of humor. A well-dressed man, exuding wealth from every pore, took the seat next to mine. His attire, including shirt of a shade of pink that only the affluent can pull off, confirmed my impression. When the air hostess asked him about his welcome drink, he confidently requested,

“Sparkling water with lemon and ice.”

Even I wanted that! And I said to myself, “I also have the same ticket! How come I can not ask for the same? Forget that — I don’t even know such a drink exists”!

I couldn’t help but compare our situations. Throughout the flight, I kept on observing his every move. He was concerned over the creases in his coat — so he entrusted it to the care of the air hostess, who always attended him with the same radiant smile.

The rich man indulged in peanuts, drinks, and a sumptuous dinner. And, all I could do was clung on to my feeble “Nothing.” To whatever the air hostess would ask — “Nothing!”

There was one and only one difference between the rich man and myself — he belonged to the business class and I did not.

As I continued my journey, my mind wandered through the chapters of my life. I recalled the countless nights spent grappling with complex mathematics and physics equations, hoping for a brighter future. Now, here I was, with a ticket worth more than my family’s yearly income in yesteryears. Tears welled up as a profound sense of gratitude enveloped me.

Sitting by the window, I saw a flashback of my younger self surrounded by science books, yearning for a life-changing moment. Today, life had exceeded my wildest dreams, and I was moved to tears once more.

But notice the remarkable life’s humor in all of this — To the air hostess, I could still only muster the word “Nothing!” 😄

Years have passed since that remarkable flight, and I’ve had my share of business class lounges and air travel. My shoes are no longer torn, but I remain far from the realm of the wealthy passenger in the pink shirt. I have realized I will never be able to wear that exclusive pink shirt or possess the same effortless confidence.

Every time I walk past the long queue in economy class and go for priority boarding, I cannot help but bow my head in gratitude to life for all it has done for me.

Just yesterday, as I found myself once again in the business class cabin, the air hostess inquired about my welcome drink preference.

My heart whispered, “Sparkling water with lemon and ice, please!”

Yet, with a smile, I humbly replied, “Just some regular water, please.”

It has been a long journey from “Nothing” to “Regular Water”! But it appears that I may never be able to fully embrace the world of sparkling water with lemon and ice😃.

But my journey from humble beginnings to business class reflections has taught me that the experiences and lessons along the way are worth more than any fine pink shirt or an extravagant sparkling water beverage.

https://medium.com/curious/how-i-am-dealing-with-misophonia-a-disorder-that-you-need-to-know-it-exists-2b87a901473b

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