100% Torture! That’s the Only Way I Can Describe Those 45 Minutes!

She thrashed me, sending all the corporate values of respect, tolerance, etc. down the gutter

I was presenting a change in the project plan and she was one of the approval authorities. In a room full of twelve men, she made sure everyone remembered who was the boss. And no other men in the room dared to interrupt her.

When she left the room after humiliating me for a full 45 minutes, a male colleague smiled and said to me, “Don’t worry, it has happened with all of us 😄! Welcome to the Oppressed Men’s Club!”

Let’s call this 5 ft 2 in, 45 kg, Asian, petite, yet iron lady (as nick-named by all the men ) — Sheryl. I bet she had missed the Moral Science class. Words such as kindness and mutual respect were not in her dictionary — at least not within the office boundary! Even her Laughing Buddha did not smile. The toughest taskmaster I ever came across, and all my previous male managers paled in comparison by a fair margin.

But let me kindly digress from her often mean behavior. She was single, nearing 40, and without any personal life (that we knew of). For years since people in the office knew her, from 7 AM to 10 PM — she would be in the office. Men and women alike, she was outshining everyone.

Recently, when our organization made a conscious effort to promote female leadership, she was an obvious choice. Make no mistake, woman or no woman, she thoroughly deserved it.

But now the problem began to arise

She had set a very bad example for all other working women in the department — women who had to manage both personal life and corporate life. I always believed that women who manage both the household and office — have to compete with men, who often have the luxury of leaving household activities at home.

However, it is not just Men vs Women, it is Men vs Single Women vs Women with Family responsibilities.

I saw this trend being repeated. Once, twice, and so on.

My organization — which wanted to promote female leadership — found some very good candidates in two single women (other than Sheryl) — one aged 45 and the other aged 55 — both racing against each other to arrive at the office early and to depart it last.

Single women vs Women with family responsibilities: Who will win the corporate battle?

For a woman with family responsibilities, it is never the men but women like Sheryl whom they have to beat in the race. I am a strong believer in feminine gender representation in organizational leadership. But observing this anomaly made me question if we are doing the right thing.

While the corporate leadership has largely been a Men’s Club, there might be another chapter appearing — the Single Ladies’ Club.

Should single women have this advantage over married women?

To be fair to Sheryl, and many other single women like her — all they have is their work. They have made huge sacrifices in their personal lives to achieve the corporate peaks. Their lives are synonymous with their work, and they have exerted tremendous effort to reach the positions they currently hold.

Compared to women with family responsibilities, they have more time, an unwavering focus, and all their constructive energy directed towards work. An organization cannot be blamed for promoting women who have work as their only priority.

I am not saying that my organization never promoted married women. They did, but I felt that in the drive for gender equality, the women who sacrificed their personal lives were the ones to gain an advantage.

Often when we are busy solving bigger issues, we tend to overlook emerging issues. Because the world is so focused on resolving the “Men vs Women” debate, it does not see the “Single Ladies Club vs Married Women Club” appearing in the shadows.

Whether this is right or wrong, I have been unable to decide. Thus, it is just an observation I share. The interplay between an individual’s personal sacrifices, their professional achievements, and the pursuit of gender equality in the workplace awaits further exploration.

I would love to hear any views — for or against this. Did you ever feel the same within your organization? Or this is just my mind cooking up stories out of nothing?

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